With this week being the week leading up to Valentine’s Day, I thought I might do a series of posts directed toward those I love. Come back all week to find more open letters to those who hold a special place in my heart.

To the one I love but don’t yet know,

I have prayed for you for sometime now. My most vivid prayer was the one asking God to send you in His time; to keep my own anxieties and fears at bay while waiting for you. And now, here you are. You’re on your way. In a few short months, I’ll get to hold you and kiss you and love you with a love so fierce I can’t fully fathom it yet. In a few short days, I’ll know a little more about you and even get to name you. But before you’re here — before I get so caught up in your snuggles and cute little features — there are a few things I want you to know.

I want you to know that I am not perfect. You’ll learn this soon enough, but know from the start that I know I’m not perfect. I want so desperately to be, not for you or for your daddy, but for my Father who sent His perfect, precious Son to die for my imperfections. I want you to be able to look up to me, to follow in my footsteps, and the footsteps I want you to follow the closest are the ones of repentance and sorrow for sins. One day, as I lamented to your daddy just a couple of days ago, you’ll know sin. You’ll commit sin. I don’t want that day to come, but it will should the Lord grant you time on the earth. And when it does, I want you to look back to your imperfect mommy and follow her. Mourn over that sin. Purpose to do better. Heed the word of God and wash those sins away in the blood of His Son. Be made new — as new and pure as the day I first knew you were you.

I also want you to know how much I love your daddy. Before you, long before you, there was just the two of us. We vowed before God and our friends and family to love and honor and respect each other, and every day since we’ve been striving to do that. Because of that love and commitment, you’re here. And we are so, so glad. But remember, before you, it was us. And so, we’re always going to be us. We’re always going to love and adore each other. You don’t have to worry that we won’t. Separation isn’t in our vocabulary. But because of this, we’re going to take time for just us. You won’t get to be the center of our lives all the time. We still need time to grow and cultivate our love for each other, and I hope you’ll enjoy the times when you get to hang out with our friends and family members because your parents are so in love that they’re spending time alone. It doesn’t mean we don’t love you, it just means we love each other so much, and we’re committed to fulfilling our roles as husband and wife. The roles God gave us before He made us parents, and roles we are still required to fill.

Along those lines, please know that life may get crazy. Our schedule has never been ordinary, and it won’t soon be. Your father and I have dedicated our lives in service to God. That means schedules are thwarted. That means other people’s needs arise, and they’re urgent. That means we’ll host people in our home at all times of the day, go out to fellowship with fellow Christians on a pretty regular basis, and even travel across the country to encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ. It means your dad will have really weird hours, sometimes unable to be home for certain things because he’s having a Bible study or assisting someone in baptism in the middle of the night. It means he’ll work weekends preparing for the Lord’s day, when he can encourage and exhort our family in Christ. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or that you’re not important. That means that our commitment is first to the Lord, and we will all be required to be servants to Him — all the time.

Finally, know how loved you have been since before you even had a name. While your daddy and I were mildly terrified and overwhelmed when we first found out you were you, we loved you. We wanted you. We prayed for you every single night. We longed for the day we’d get to see you. And you will never know a day apart from our love. Our Father taught us that kind of love, and we will pass it to you.

We love you and God loves you, sweet one. We can’t wait to meet you!