Bitterness is one of those topics that we don’t like to think about, and especially don’t like to talk about, because so many of us struggle with it. If we’re being honest with ourselves, we like holding onto these grudges and harmful thoughts: they give us a sense of pride, of security, of entitlement.

In the past, I’ve written posts about overcoming bitterness. Today, I want to look at our attitudes toward those who have hurt us–those who have contributed to our bitterness problem.

Last time, we talked about Joseph and the way he overcame bitterness. His story is such an inspirational one, and one that will help us as we strive to overcome our own bitterness. In particular, I want us to look at one verse that will help us as we approach our attitudes toward those who have had less than pleasant attitudes toward us.

But first, let’s think about the ways we generally think about people who’ve hurt us. Do we often hope that those who hurt us are ‘repaid’ for the way they treated us? Do we buy into this karma idea, that they’ll get what’s coming to them in the form of a broken heart, flat tire, lost job? Do we secretly like their Facebook posts when something goes wrong in their life?

I know, I know, we’d never do something like that. But if we’re being honest with ourselves–if I’m being honest with you–I’ve felt that way. I’ve laughed when an ex has had his heart broken. I’ve smiled when someone was treated the way they treated me. Is that the appropriate way to respond? Is that truly beating bitterness? No, it’s fueling the fire.

Alright, back to Joseph. In Genesis 45:5, we find Joseph telling his brothers a very profound statement: “But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.”

While a lot of people focus on the end of this verse –you know, the very amazing, God’s providence part– I think the beginning is fascinating. Joseph, who was completely forsaken by his brothers, sold into slavery, thrown in a pit, put into prison, and falsely accused, has the chance to make the very ones who put him through all of this suffer. Die even! But that’s not what happens. He doesn’t do anything to make them feel a fraction of the pain he’s experienced, instead, he aims to make their life better!

Joseph doesn’t want his brothers to feel guilt or anger or any other emotion that will harm their hearts. No, he only wants what is best for them! Which is why we know that truly beating bitterness is not only letting go of all the negative feelings we have toward a person, but also trying to improve their life! Have they apologized? Doesn’t matter. Have they made it right? Doesn’t matter. Have they continued to treat you harshly? Doesn’t matter. Bitterness only affects you and your salvation, so you must do all within your abilities to rid it from your life. And the best way to rid bitterness from your life, is to have a positive, do-good attitude toward those who have hurt you.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,” – Matthew 5:44