One of my favorite bands is Sister Hazel, and they have a song called “Change Your Mind.” These words have become especially meaningful in the last two years as I have struggled with postpartum depression:

If you want to be somebody else,
If you’re tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind

Mental illness is a daily battle with yourself. It’s your mind telling you one thing – lies, mostly – while deep inside, you know better. You know that you are worth fighting for. You know your life is worth living. You know Jesus died for you and that makes you special. But the mind is tricky when it’s not firing correctly. And there are many, many days when I have cried into my pillow thinking that I just don’t want to do this anymore. Any of it. I don’t want to be wife, a mom, a person. I’m done.

And then I think of this song. Change your mind.

It is difficult in the midst of a hard day to change your mind. That is why it is so important to spend time thinking about your mental health on the good days. Or, on the ok days. On the days when you don’t feel like giving up, focus on every single good thing you possibly can. But before doing even that, make sure you change your mind about mental illness.

If you constantly dwell on why me,  you will miss the beautiful opportunities you have been given —  opportunities to reach out and help those who are in the midst of a dark day. If you give in to the I’m damaged mindset, you’re missing opportunities to see the strength of God in your weakness. If you allow yourself to retreat, to stay away from worship, you are keeping yourself from a beautiful way God is trying to rejuvenate you and motivate you to keep on going.

So much of our Christian walk is about repentance, which literally means change the way you think. Sometimes, we have to repent, not of sin, but of a damaging way of thinking. We have to change the way we think about ourselves, about our worth, about our present situation. If we will dwell, not on the hurt of mental illness or the drastic difference in our now personality versus then personality, but on God’s grace and mercy and faithfulness, we will be able to find the light in our darkest moments. We will see our weakness for what it really is; a way to show the magnificent and unmatchable strength of our God to others.

If you struggle with mental illness of any stripe, please reach out to someone. But most importantly, reach up to your loving and all-knowing Father. He cares. He sees. He understands. He built your brain and He knows the changes that have taken place. And He loves you just as much and will use you, even in what you feel is a weakened state. Perhaps you can be used now in an even greater way than before. That’s the prayer, right?

Just remember – if you want to give up, change your mind. If you think you aren’t worth fighting for, change your mind. If you think you’re useless in the kingdom, change your mind. God can and will use you if you are willing to be used up in His service.