I don’t know what your struggle is, but I know we all have them. It seems that Satan attacks me with the temptation of complaining far more often than anything else these days, and I’m ashamed to say he’s been winning a lot of skirmishes lately. That’s why I decided to do some digging into God’s word to see what it says about complaining, and how I can overcome it. Maybe this will help you if your struggles are anything like mine, but if not, maybe this will help you in dealing with people who do struggle with this.

So as I’ve been studying, I’ve seen three components of complaining that really rise to the top. Discouragement from brethren, pride, and discontentment. Let’s break it down:

Discouragement from brethren – Deuteronomy 1:27 gives us the picture of the complaining Israelites, when we’re told “and you complained in your tents, and said, ‘Because the Lord hates us, He has brought us out of the land of Egypt to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites, to destroy us.”  In the following verse, though, we’re told why they were complaining: “Our brethren have discouraged our hearts“. These were the people who heard the negative report from the 10 spies who didn’t trust in God. These people complained because they’d been negatively influenced by their brethren.

How many times has this happened to you? Or how many times have you been the cause of this? Sometimes, we are well-meaning, but we discourage young moms or teenagers or widows or parents of unruly children or the preacher’s wife. We make passive comments about how things should be done or make remarks asking why things weren’t done a certain way…and it discourages faithfulness. It makes people feel like they can’t do anything that won’t illicit negativity, and so they’ll just slack off, or maybe they won’t participate anymore. I know I have been on both sides of this fence, and I pray that I can overcome each side. May it never be said that I or any of us discouraged someone, and may I never complain (again-because I definitely have!) because a Christian is being negative. I still need to maintain my positivity.

Pride – This is a big one for me. I would like to think that I’m not a prideful person, and yet most of my complaining stems from a situation where I feel I’ve been wronged. This kind of complaining makes me think of Miriam, who we find in Numbers 12:1-10 basically rising up against Moses and complaining. Verse 10 is a sobering verse, though, because she is struck with leprosy for her ugly words and her ugly heart.

Sometimes, we think too highly of ourselves, and we complain because we feel we don’t deserve whatever is happening to us, OR we don’t feel someone else deserves what IS happening to them. Let me type this so I have to read it over and over again: GET OVER YOURSELF. I am no one, and I am definitely no better than anyone. When good things happen for other people that I wish would happen for me, I need to rejoice with them (Rom. 12:15). I don’t need to complain that nothing good ever happens to me. I need to get over myself, and esteem others better than myself.

Discontentment with circumstances – In Numbers 11, we find a complaining Israel. Verse 20 tells us what they were complaining about: “Why did we ever come out of Egypt?” They didn’t like wandering! Verse 1 tells us point blank though that the anger of the Lord was aroused against them because of their complaining. Ouch, Emily.

I find myself complaining about circumstances way more than I ought (any amount is way more than I ought, am I right?). When bad things happen, I question it. When something goes a way I don’t like, I question it. And yet, the covenant under which I live and serve tells me flat out that this is wrong. Philippians 2:13-15 says, “for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,”.

In my life, these components add up to a sinful Emily. It seems like I’m doing ok, living like I should, and there are even people out there that excuse me from it, saying everybody complains, or that complaining is harmless/not wrong. But when I read Philippians 2, I see a command. I am called to a higher standard than everybody else, because I’m supposed to be the light shining to them. And people don’t see a lot of light through a disgruntled, complaining life.

Jude 14-18 talks about ungodly people that will be judged…it even says the word ungodly FIVE TIMES in this passage. Right smack dab in the middle of those verses it says these ungodly people are complainers (16). I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be ungodly. I don’t want to get everything else right – worship, modesty, sexuality, wife roles, etc. – but be called ungodly because I was a complainer. It’s serious, and it means I seriously have to stop.

So, will you pray for me, that I will be stronger and overcome this temptation? I will pray for you, too, that you may overcome complaining, or if you don’t struggle with it, that you won’t cause someone else to complain by being negative.

Life is rough. Life is hard. But God is in control, and He loves us and is going to let us live with Him forever in heaven. We can endure anything for a lifetime.