Recently in my teenage girls class on Sunday mornings, we talked about drama. I figured, teenage girls know a thing or two about drama, and probably need some help navigating those especially dramatic teenage years. As we studied from the Scriptures, we drew out five tips on overcoming drama that I’d like to share with you today.

Now I know that drama is usually expected around teenagers, but maybe as adults we think that it’s a childish topic for discussion. But here’s the thing, drama is a very real and present part of our lives at every stage. There will always be people who hurt us, talk bad about us, want the worst for us–because people will always be fallible. So while hormones and coming of age may produce a bit more drama for the teenager, drama is still very prevalent and hard to deal with for a person in any age group.

So how do we deal? How do you handle dramatic people & situations? Go to God’s Word, obviously!

1: Pray for that person. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus tells us, “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” Why would Jesus tell us to pray for those who hurt us? Perhaps it’s because it’s terribly difficult to stay mad at someone for whom you’re praying. Have you ever been in the midst of some terribly dramatic stuff, and stopped and prayed for the person causing you such anxiety? While one prayer may not immediately stop all of your drama, it will help your anxiety (Phil. 4:6) and it will help you to calm down and rationally approach the situation.

2: Seek God’s wisdom. In 1 Kings 3:16-28 we are told the story of two women who had some drama. Each had a son, and one of them rolled over on their son in the night and killed him. Realizing what she’d done, she swapped her dead baby for the other woman’s living baby, and just pretended like nothing happened. The point of the story is that these two women go before King Solomon, who gives one of the wisest verdicts of all time and thus eliminates the ladies’ drama. So here’s the thing: if the wisest person to ever grace the earth got his wisdom from the God of heaven, why don’t we tap into that same wisdom-giving source when it comes to dealing with our drama? James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” God will give us the wisdom to solve our drama problems if we will simply ask Him to. Not only will He give us the wisdom that we need, He will give it “without reproach”, which means He won’t make us feel stupid for asking. God knows we need His wisdom to handle our earthly problems, and we’re doing ourselves a disservice if we do not take advantage of His bountiful gift.

3: Stop thinking too highly of yourself. It is so easy to get caught up in the “how could they do that to me” mindset. Oftentimes when drama comes into our lives, it isn’t by our doing at all. Others have decided that they want to make up rumors, motives, etc. about us, and we really aren’t at fault in the situation. Still, we cannot think too highly of ourselves and become so selfish that we let whatever is happening to us make us puffed up or arrogant. Romans 12:16 says, “Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.” When someone wrongs you, do not act haughty or ill toward them simply because they have done wrong to you. Let us do our best to imitate our great example, Jesus, “who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously (1 Peter 2:23).” If Jesus could suffer, we can suffer. If Jesus could suffer without adding to the dramatic situation going on around Him, we can too.

4: Give them what they need, not what they deserve. So often, those creating drama are simply in need, even if they themselves do not realize it. In high school, there were a few girls who decided to start some pretty ugly rumors about me. Why? Because they were insecure and simply needed to be admonished and told that they were good enough. Even though they’d spread lies and deeply hurt me, did they need humiliation, punishment or withdrawal? No. Did they deserve it? Maybe. Romans 12:20 says, “Therefore, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Chances are, those who are lashing out, acting childish, and throwing you under the bus are the ones who simply need love, patience, attention and kindness. Give them those things, even if they deserve something else.

5: Go your separate ways. There are times when the only thing you can do to still the drama in your life is to get away from it. In Acts 15:36-41, we see Paul and Barnabas disagreeing over John Mark. When the matter couldn’t be settled, Paul went with Silas and Barnabas took John Mark. There may be times when you cannot stay the course with someone because they continually cause drama and subsequently hinder the work of the Lord. In those instances, go your separate way. Do not do so in a dramatic, pick sides sort of way, though. Instead, peacefully go your own direction, making sure that you are doing so for the furtherance of the gospel message, not the furtherance of your reputation or ego.

Drama is no fun, for anyone, yet some people seem to take it with them wherever they go. Today, choose not to be the person who propagates the drama, but to be the one who works to end it. Choose to pray for those who bring the drama, and do your best to give them what they need, not what they deserve. And, if you are one who is tempted to cause drama with others around you, do your best to seek God’s wisdom on how to overcome such a temptation.