Romans 12 is said to contain a list of Christian virtues. Starting in verse 9, we are given a list of attributes Christians should possess and ways they should act. While most people use 1 Corinthians 13 to define love and how we should treat our spouses, I like to use Romans 12:9-18. I especially like verses nine though twelve. Here’s what those verses say:

“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer;”

There are so many ways to apply these sentiments, but there’s one area I want to zoom in on today.

First and foremost let me tell you that I am by no means a perfect wife. After all, I’ve only been a wife for a little over 8 months. Still, I have seen a problem with wives of my generation and I really think it needs to be addressed. Lately, I am seeing more and more women talking about famous men on their Facebook and Twitter accounts. While most do so in a playful way, I can’t help but feel a sting for their husbands. I’m not saying it is wrong to talk about celebrities or prefer certain ones over others; I have my favorites, too. But here’s a sobering question: Do you get upset when your husband talks about other women? Why then do we go on and on about other men?

I think it is just as hurtful to our husbands when we talk about certain celebrities and how “hot” or “attractive” or “great” they are. Not because our husbands are insecure or weak or anything of the sort, but because they’re human beings. They need to feel wanted and appreciated and loved. How are we making them feel by praising worldly men based on their appearance? Do we give our Godly husbands the same kind of public praise?

If, as a Christian, I am supposed to give preference to others, and be kindly affectionate to others, how much more so am I supposed to give those things to my husband? Should I not prefer him, even in the silliest and most superficial of ways?

Ephesians 5:33 says, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

There are many different ways to show respect to our husbands. I think one way that we could do that is by only praising OUR men. Sure, I can like certain celebrities. Do I have to go on and on about how gorgeous or great or amazing they are? Do I have to plaster pictures of them everywhere? Do I need to try to make my husband jealous?? Of course not. I should spend as much if not more time praising my husband and building him up. Out of respect for my husband, I shouldn’t go on and on about other men in the same way that I would feel bad and insecure if he went on and on about how attractive other women are. It’s not that I don’t know other women are way more attractive than I am, but I don’t want my husband to think so. In the same way, we shouldn’t act like other men are more attractive than our husbands. They are ours, after all.

Robert and I both share a love for Michael Buble’s voice. I’d like to think, though, that Robert knows I’d much rather have him singing to me any day. I may like certain celebrities, but my husband knows that I am completely smitten by and attracted to him above all. That’s what it’s all about.

Wives, try hard this week to compliment and praise your husband publicly, especially when you feel like complimenting or praising some wordly man. And if you’re not married–practice this concept. Stop objectifying men. We get so upset when men do it to us, yet we excuse the behavior for our gender.

Titus 2:3-4 says (ASV): “that the aged women likewise be reverent in demeanor, not slanderers nor enslaved to much wine, teachers of that which is good; that they may train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children..”

Apparently, loving our husbands is something we need to be trained to do. It might not always come naturally. Let’s work toward training ourselves to love our husbands in the way God intended for us to love them.

All I want out of life is to go to heaven, be a Godly wife and mother, and have my family get to heaven with me. The purpose of this post and all others is to consider myself first so that I can be right with God. It is never intended to attack, condemn, or anything else. I only want to get to heaven, and help others get there.