I’m not really a reader. Now, before all you reader-y people out there start thinking I’m one of those people who didn’t read a book last year, that’s just not true. I read like…10. Which, for the girl who read a big fat zero of the required reading books in high school, is a milestone. A major milestone. But still, I’m not really a reader. When I read, I get super into books and finish them in days. But I just don’t make the time for that. I let life fill in the time I could be reading, and then weeks have passed since I picked up anything other than the Bible.

But that changed two days ago.

Two days ago I picked Crazy Love off of the bookshelf of my husband’s office and casually read the back and decided right then and there that I needed to read it. I’m only two chapters in (which is why I haven’t even posted this week!), but it is stepping on my toes and opening my eyes wide to some truths I’ve needed to expose.

Now, as a disclaimer, I have already run into things that simply aren’t in line with the Biblical pattern in the the book, but overall, Francis Chan’s words are right on point. Here are a few that have really, really pricked my heart, and thus have become challenges for me (and you, if you’d like!):

“Colossians 1:16 tells us that everything was created for God. ‘For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him.” Don’t we instead live as though God is created for us, to do our bidding, to bless us, and to take care of our  loved ones?“

I’m so incredibly guilty of this. And so I stopped yesterday and this morning and just prayed without asking for a single thing. And it was awesome. And humbling. And really, really sad. Because what have I been doing with my prayer life all this time except making it all about me? So, my challenge for chapter one comes in the form of not praying selfishly all the time. Now, I absolutely need to daily–because I need forgiveness and strength and wisdom. But I also need to let my soul cry out to my God in humble adoration every now and then.

“Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress says the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional.“

When Robert got home tonight, I told him that this book doesn’t step on my toes, it steps on my whole leg. How often have I let worry sneak into my life, only to give the cop out of saying I’m just “concerned”. Or how many times have I offered an “I’m just stressed” where I should have said, “I’m sorry for being rude.” It’s not okay to be worried and it’s not okay to be stressed. My life and my stuff…in the grand scheme of things…mean nothing. My time on this earth is meant for one thing: glorifying God. Pointing others to the One that does matter. The One that this is all about. And so my challenge for chapter two is to call stress what it is: selfishness. Anytime I start feeling overwhelmed with pressure and stress and stuff, I need to step back and think about the big picture. The picture of an Almighty God in heaven. The picture of lost souls standing before Him, awaiting a terrifying sentencing because they didn’t obey. And I need to snap out of my own life and into action.

Two chapters, and I’m already realizing how much work I need. Fortunately, God is the perfect Artist, and I’m thankful to still have the time on this earth where He can mold me and make me what He wants me to be.