When we found out we were expecting our little girl, his first response wasn’t ‘I wish I could carry her.’ For weeks, as my stomach would grow and her presence was more readily known by others, he never said ‘Why can’t I be pregnant?’
Now you may be thinking, that probably because being pregnant isn’t actually that enjoyable(at least, mine hasn’t been). Why would anyone be upset that they couldn’t have 24/7 nausea or backaches or restless nights or endless doctors appointments? But that’s not the point. The point is, I’ve been given the role of carrying our daughter, and my husband isn’t bitter about it. He doesn’t question God, he doesn’t try to get around it, he doesn’t see himself as less of a parent because of it. He just gets that this is my role.
Sadly, a lot of women don’t act the same way. Instead, we resent the fact that our husbands are the spiritual leaders in our families. We’re bitter that men get to preach and become elders, while we take on a silent, submissive role. So we question God, and try to bend the rules, and lament that men see us as less because we don’t get to lead.
It would be ridiculous for Robert to mope around because he’s not pregnant. We get that. So why don’t we get that we, as women, shouldn’t mope around because we aren’t given the same roles as men? Why do we assume this means we aren’t equal, since the rest of the New Testament scriptures would contradict that (Gal. 3:28, 1 Pet. 3:7)? Just because distinctions are made doesn’t mean one is less than another, it simply means to live in harmony with the will of God, we must submit to the roles He’s given (whether we understand, agree, or anything else).
I am thankful for God’s design for the home and the church. I am thankful my husband and I aren’t constantly competing for leadership, but instead are able to live in harmony because of our acceptance of our equal, yet different, roles. I am thankful that there is harmony in the church, without the “gender card” being thrown around because one congregation hired a male preacher even though a female applied. That’s where we’d be in this culture if there were no distinctions, and yet God has created a harmonious atmosphere for His people by assigning us different, complementary roles.
If you struggle with submission, or feeling equal in God’s sight because you don’t have the same role as a man, dig deeper into the Word of God. Read about His great love for you, manifested in the sacrifice of His Son for you. Christ died for men and women equally. Christ saves men and women equally. Aren’t those the most important matters? If we can receive salvation, the greatest gift we could ever receive, does it matter that we don’t have the same role? So long as I am afforded the opportunity to be with my Savior and my God in eternity, I will do whatever They want me to do!
*For a great study on Galatians 3:28, check out a post from Radically Christian titled “Does No Male and Female in Christ Mean Women May Preach?”*
