Last Saturday I had the privilege of speaking to a group of young ladies about loving others. As I was studying for the lesson, I found myself pretty ashamed of high school Emily. There were so many situations I found myself in that I could have loved more like Jesus loved, instead of focusing primarily on self and what was best/easiest for me. I decided that since I’m not too far removed from high school, I would talk about things that I struggled with back in the day, and hopefully they applied to the girls I spoke to. But, as it always goes, I definitely got more out of the lesson than I ever could have conveyed to them.

As I was wrapping up my study, I decided to throw in a few practical tips toward the end of the lesson that might help in applying the love concepts we’d studied, and I thought I’d share them with you today. We obviously know we’re called to be a people of love, and not just any kind of love, but a love that is the same as Jesus’. A love that is unconditional, impartial, and abundant. Still, it is hard to cultivate that kind of heart, so here are a few practical pointers that may help.

1: Pray – I know I’m not alone in having that one personthat’s really hard to get along with. In high school, I had people that seemed to be in my life simply for the opportunity to increase my patience. And if I’m being honest, I know a few people like that today. People I don’t want to treat the same way as my friends or family. People I want to write off or excuse myself from. But Jesus loved everyone, and that means I love everyone. And NOT in a “I love them but I don’t have to like them” way. That’s not Biblical. That’s why I need to pray. I need to pray specifically for strength and patience, but also for the opportunity to show love to that individual.

2: Pray specifically for leaders – I asked the girls on Saturday if they’d ever heard the phrase “have the elders and preachers for lunch” and they hadn’t, which I was thankful for. Unfortunately, many adults have heard of those phrases, and have even participated in the grilling of certain members of Christ’s body. The Bible is replete with passages about respecting authority (Rom. 13:1, 1 Pet.2:13-14, etc.). We are not people of love if we’re constantly nagging or complaining about elders in the Lord’s church. We are not being loving if we are constantly degrading the President of the United States. And so, if you are tempted to lash out against any authority in your life, pray for them. And be mindful. Because you do not want to speak out against authority, because ultimately you’re speaking against God.

3: Turn off the TV dramas – It seems silly to have to tell adults to turn off dramatic things, but sometimes we fail to realize just how much of that is actually sinking into our hearts. Jesus said, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”  If we are putting in an abundance of drama into our hearts (hello soap operas), what is going to come out in our everyday lives? Weren’t Euodia and Syntyche called out for being dramatic (Phil.4)? Let’s be careful what we’re putting in! And ESPECIALLY if we’re having trouble loving others, let’s cut out all of the excess drama in our lives.

4: Turn off the music – Music is a powerful tool, and too often we’re putting in impure lyrics into our heads. Sure, they seem innocent, or maybe they have a catchy tune, but when we’re constantly singing about vandalizing our ex’s vehicle or hoping their heart gets broken, are we loving?! Just because a song isn’t filled with bad words doesn’t mean we should be singing them or listening to them. Instead, turn off the music. Don’t allow your heart to be filled with anger, bitterness, or the temptation to act any way but loving.

5: Stop talking – For the teenagers, I advised them to speak to a Christian adult, someone who wouldn’t be tempted to gossip about a situation or person. But my, how many times I’ve seen gossip and negativity on Facebook coming FROM Christian adults. Sometimes, we need to just stop talking. We need to quit typing out that passive aggressive status, stop the vague tweet, and definitely stop commenting beneath others’ statuses. If there is any venue in which we may be tempted to act unloving, we need to abstain. Just back away from the smart phone and pray, because there is never a situation where the answer is not love. If you want to be unloving, you need to just quit talking.

6: Clean out your closet – We don’t often think about it this way, but as Christian women, if we are dressing immodestly, we are showing our brothers in Christ that we do not love them. We are showing God that we do not love Him, because we’re causing His little ones to stumble. If you want to cultivate a more loving heart, cultivate a loving closet. Get rid of anything that would make you a hypocrite.

Obviously there are more ways to be a loving person, but let’s be mindful of some of these areas and truly try every day to be loving in the same way that Jesus is loving. Unconditionally, impartially, and abundantly.