I mentioned last week that I was going to do a few posts on Job, though I had hoped to do them all in the same week. Unfortunately, winter arrived and our heat left the building. So we ended up as Jonas refugees last week, and I was away from my normal routine and favorite blogging space (read: my couch). So no more posts. But today, all of that changes. And there WILL BE two posts on Job this week. And then we’ll move on to something different. Now, for the subject at hand:
Job, after listening to the accusations of his so-called friends for quite some time, responds with rebuke. In Job 16:4-5, he says, “I also could speak as you do, if your soul were in my soul’s place. I could heap up words against you, and shake my head at you; But I would strengthen you with my mouth, and the comfort of my lips would relieve your grief.”
This week, weigh the words you’ve used. Now ask yourself this question: are you more like Job or his friends? Are you a miserable comforter or an actual comforter? I think that all of us want to be like Job. We all want to be people who, if someone were in a terrible circumstance, would offer words of strength and comfort. Words that built up and encouraged. However, I’m not so sure that all of us are those people. Instead, we speak before we think, or we speak before we consider someone else’s feelings, and we’re left looking like Job’s friends.
The Holy Spirit has left us with so much responsibility when it comes to our tongues. We are to praise God, refrain from malice and bitterness, speak with grace, encourage and exhort those around us, pray for those who are hurting or sick. We are to keep from cursing, keep from crude jokes, keep from lying, and instead be peacemakers, having the law of kindness on our tongues. Refraining from talking when necessary, and speaking only words that are fruitful. That’s just scratching the surface, really, but there’s so much to that. When it comes to our tongues, we must be constantly on guard, for “no man can tame it” (James 3:8).
Yet when we speak to others, we don’t guard our tongues quite like we ought. At least, not all the time. Instead, we just assume we won’t hurt someone’s feelings. Or, we don’t think it’s possible for us to hurt someone else’s feelings — after all, we’re just being “honest”. But a lot of times, we’re like Job’s friends — completely out of line in our thinking and acting.
Colossians 4:6 admonishes in this way: “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”
Our answers to “each one” aren’t always the same. To some, you may be able to speak one way, but to others, that’s offensive. To some, you might be able to be a bit more direct and confrontational, but to others, a gentler approach is necessary. To some, you ought to simply keep your mouth closed, because what you’re about to say isn’t good for edification (Ephesians 4:29). But always, in every instance, your words are to be graceful. Thought out. Seasoned with salt, so that the listener is encouraged by what you’ve said. Even if you had to say some hard things, rebuking things even, you can do so in a loving, Christlike manner.
Before you engage in conversation this week (online or in person), think about the words you’re going to use. Are the tearing someone down? Are they simply complaints? Are they helping the listener? Encouraging them? Or depressing them? Discouraging them? Leaving them with a bitter taste for Christianity in their mouth? Each of our words mean something, and by each of our words we will be judged (Matthew 12:37).
Just because you know something, doesn’t mean you need to tell it. Just because you experienced something similar, doesn’t mean you have to tell the story. Just because you assume someone has done something to bring on their situation, doesn’t mean you should accuse them or berate them. Use grace. Listen first, speak later (if necessary – Ecc. 3:7).
