I am very new to the stay-at-home-wife gig. From a young age, “work” was instilled within me. You want money in high school – look, I signed you up for an interview at McDonalds! You want money in college – look, there are work studies available for students. You want money after college – welcome to the real world, get a job.

Obviously this is a Biblical principle. If a man won’t work, neither shall he eat (2 Thess. 3:10). So what is my work-brain supposed to make of this new “no work” situation I find myself in? Do I need to find a job? Is it sinful for me not to have a job? We all know that the answer to that is no, but being a woman in the 21^st century, it kind of feels like it’s wrong for me to not have a job—at least as far as the world is concerned. Even as a married woman, if you want to make a name for yourself or have all the latest this/that or be sure your finances are secure…you need to have a job. End of story.

But I have a wonderful husband. I have an extremely hard-working husband who labors long for us and provides for our household. Sure, we could probably have quite a few more luxuries if I were to also bring in an income, but we are taken care of and therefore I’m here. Incomeless.

But notice I didn’t say jobless.

In our culture, staying at home has become synonymous with not working, when in reality that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I know many, many stay at home moms who work tirelessly day in and day out to wrangle and educate and feed and clean little ones. They are rockstars. They rise early and retire late. They often seem disheveled, but that’s only because they’ve spent 24 hours looking out for the needs of others before looking out for their own needs. Again, rockstars.

But what about us – the stay at home wives? You see, SAHM (stay at home moms) have a cool acronym. They’re becoming increasingly more numerous (yay!) and society seems to be leaning more in the direction of “yes, staying at home raising a child/children is hard work” and thus they’re validated. It is A-OK to stay at home and be income-less when you have children. But before then? Questionable.

More people than I can count have asked me if I have a job or if I’m going to get a job and the list goes on and on. The response is normally the same: “oh….good for you.” Seems nice enough, but their tone implies “oh…so you’re lazy.”

I don’t want to be lazy. I don’t want to stay at home shopping on amazon all day every day while Robert works hard for us. I don’t want him to come home to more work around the house because I’ve been binge-watching Netflix. Instead, I want to have a job – I just want it to be here at my house and I don’t mind not being paid for it.

When God designed marriage and the home, He gave everyone a job. To husbands, He gave the leadership and provider role. To children, He gave the obedience role. To wives, He gave charge of keeping the home and submitting to her husband.

I don’t have to have children to do these things. Actually, if I want to be pleasing to God, I can’t wait until I have children to start doing these things. What if I never have children? What if my time on earth is done before I have children? Christianity is never about waiting to do the good you know you are to do, so why would I not want to “keep my home” until I have children?

Still, SAHW (stay at home wives) have their work cut out for them. There will be backlash and persecution. There will be people who say we do nothing, or say that we need to be doing something else. Regardless of what anyone says, we just have to be faithful to God. And God is pleased through our obedience and servitude, which means He’s pleased when I make sure my husband has clean clothes and enough food to eat to get him through the day. It means He’s pleased when I clean my house and prepare it to be ready for guests. It means He’s pleased when I spend my time encouraging others, not simply going to a job outside of the home so I can bring in income to use on myself.

I applaud women who literally do it all. They step up to the plate when their husband’s need them to bring in extra income. They maintain their household and they serve others. These women are working rockstars. However, don’t demean the woman who spends her days at home working. She may “only” be sweeping or doing laundry or ironing or scrubbing the microwave or changing sheets, but she is serving. She is working, in her own right, and she is a working rockstar too. Let’s all applaud everyone who is seeking God first, and doing all they can to glorify Him every day, in whatever way they can.

*Please know that I feel super blessed to be able to stay at home, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s wrong for people to have jobs. We need so many Christians in the workplace! I just want to live in a world where we can be happy for each other – happy for the ones who work outside of the home and happy for the ones who stay home and work, and neither group feel that they need to bash the other or question the other or look down on the other.