You are so loved❤️! This is a difficult topic and hard for some to understand if you haven’t been there. Just be yourself! Regardless. Don’t pretend. Let friends know when it’s a bad day (and family). The best Emily you are each day is who God loves.unconditionally!

So appreciative of your openness and you’re right…. even though some trials are harder (IE: terrible, debilitating depression) we are told that these trials in life are what will help us to persevere. They will help us to help other Christians when they are struggling in the same! I hope you find comfort in the fact that this does give an opportunity for a different kind of ministry. Praying for you, friend!

Just tackling what the next day holds, whatever that may be, is bravery and faithfulness. I commend you on getting help early on! I am sure that has made a positive difference in your healing journey from PPD. While I definitely had the baby blues after my first-born, I did not suffer from PPD, but my sister-in-law did for a while. She had already been dealing with severe anxiety so she also was able to get some help. You are not alone in the suffering of it. I vividly remember the anxiousness I would experience over lots of little things in the first year of my son’s life. I too mourned that I did not get to enjoy him as much as I had hoped I would in those early days. 3 years later we welcomed our second daughter and I waited with anxiousness to see if I would experience and/or feel the same things as the first time. Thankfully our second child slept more regularly and I was more prepared mentally for the newborn phase and I enjoyed my days with her as a baby so much more. Praying for you to continue to heal and get better and love your outlook on life.

Thanks for sharing Emily! You are a courageous example. So many of us have been there. You are not alone. Satan gets a stronger hold when we isolate ourselves or imagine that we are alone in our struggles. Talking about it is a HUGE step in the right direction. God is SO GOOD! May he continue to bless you in your ministry!

Emily, keep the course…. you are a SUPERMOM as well as a FINE YOUNG LADY. You are doing all the right things…. don’t be concerned what others think…. we are behind you and love you.

Hi Emily, I am just a guy who stumbled across your post because my wife left it pulled up. Thank you for your honesty and sharing your struggle as it is sure to inspire others to step out of their dark place and seek comfort and help when they need it. I can relate in several different ways as my wife experienced some PPD after the birth of our child and I have also suffered through different periods of anxiety and minor depression recently. Earlier this year, my anxiety started to take over my life and I suffered from panic attacks as well. Some where I could not physically stand because my legs were shaking so hard…kind of attacks. So I went searching for help. Being a sole-income provider I could not afford to be disabled by my anxiety. I worked with multiple counselors until I found the right one which helped some in the beginning, but then I discovered my break-through which was acupuncture! After just two sessions in my first week I was off my prescription which I was taking 3 times a day. After 4 sessions I felt 90% better. I am not totally better, but feel much more balanced in my body and mind to communicate with God, my wife, and my counselor to sort through the things which cause me stress and anxiety to begin with. Christians consider childbirth to be a “miracle” and a “blessing” which as you explained just makes matters worse because your physical body doesn’t feel this way and thus you feel guilt which worsens anxiety and depression. Many other mothers also experience tremendous guilt because no one tells them that childbirth in many cases is considered a trauma for their body! I would say your birth would definitely qualify as you described it as a trauma! One that totally wrecked your nervous system not allowing your brain to send the signals as God designed it to. Getting my body back to a place where it could once again heal itself was all I was looking for; to get my body back to a place where it could heal itself and I have found that. I hope you continue to do the same! I hope this helps someone out there…

Emily, thank you for sharing such a beautiful and honest journey into motherhood with your readers. PPD is real and so many young mothers do not realize that it can happen and does happen even when the baby who blesses your life appears and changes all that you have known about yourself. You have been so open and helpful to others just by relating this struggle. I had two babies in less than 21 months and I had tears and overwhelming tiredness for two years. I really searched for anyone to understand, and I found a church who took both children into their mothers morning out program so I could heal. But now, 20 years later, I wish that others had been willing to share their struggles, and it would have helped me not feel so alone. Those supporting you are a great resource, but most important is the realization that you are a great mom and wife and God is using your journey for good. Twenty years later, my children bless my life and are of great comfort. The hardest time was when they were born and it has made every challenge since easier to embrace. Keep on keeping on and may God who is so good embrace you and your sweet family with great joy.