Here’s something you may not know about me: I HATE beans. Loathe. Despise. Whatever strong word you can conjure up in your broad vocabulary, that’s my detestation for beans. They are, in my mind, the worst. And yes, I mean all beans. Even green. I eat those, sure, but only because you technically eat the shell, not the bean (and I do not eat the little beans I see escaping the pod). And of ALL the beans I flee from, refried are the WORST of the worst (because they’re all the worst). It’s like a bean paste! Ugh! Gag me!

So here’s what happens:

I’m enjoying my time at a friend’s 31 party, minding my own business as I peruse the snacks, and stumble upon some mini tacos. Hmm, I think to myself, I like tacos. And, as I look to these little creatures, I see nothing but taco meat and a nice flaky quiche crust. That’ll do pig, that’ll do.

As I make my way to my seat, I pop the little guy into my mouth. And then I look at my plate. The other little taco quiche is a little less deceptive: you can SEE the refried beans peeking out of this one. Needless to say, I immediately stop chewing. It was no one’s fault but my own that I didn’t ask what was in the tacos, but the little fellas weren’t up front about the bean situation. They were covered in delicious-looking seasoned meat, and who’s gonna say no to that?

But it made me think of what I’ve been reading lately in my daily Bible reading. Jesus warns the Pharisees about doing something similar to their lives:

 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” (Matt.23:27-28)

It’s easy to overlook passages about the Pharisees, because they were a distinct group of people. But really, if we’re being honest with ourselves, they’re probably the group we can identify with the most. I don’t relate to the “unchurched” multitude that followed Jesus around all day. I don’t relate to the ones who dropped all and followed Him either. Instead, I relate to the ones who boldly (and arrogantly) proclaimed their religion of tradition.

Yeah, I don’t like it either.

That’s why I’ve got to be careful. I’ve got to be careful that I’m not parading myself around like a delicious taco, when really I’m filled with disgusting refried beans. I’ve got to be careful that I’m not putting up a front of being religious and letting my heart be filled with hypocrisy, lawlessness, and sin. I’ve got to be careful that I don’t ever, EVER, put on my Sunday best and then live Monday – Saturday (with a brief aside for Wednesday evening) doing whatever it is I want to do.

Which is why I’ve decided that today, I just need to lay it out there for you. I need you to know that while I come here and I express my God-thoughts in written form, I am not perfect. And while I talk often about improvement, I fail miserably most of the time. And while I speak out against sin and Satan, I give in too often. And here are some specific ways:

I am a complainer. I hate it about myself, and I know the Bible teaches against it (Phil. 2:14-15). And I still do it.

I am a worrier. Don’t say everyone does it so that’s ok, either. It isn’t. It’s a lack of trust (Matt.6:25-34).

I am irritable. It’s not all the time, but I am easily irritated. Robert can attest, I’m sure. And guess what, it’s pretty plain and simple in 1 Corinthians 13. Am I proud of it? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Do I need you to pray for me, yes. Because I don’t want to be a whitewashed tomb!

Sometimes, it’s easy to think we’re doing well. It’s easy to judge ourselves and our spirituality based on the people around us. But that’s not the standard. Jesus is the standard. His words will judge us. And if I’m being honest with myself and with you, I need so, so much grace every single day, because I fall short all the time.

And sometimes, I just need to tell you that (James 5:16). Because I don’t want to be a Pharisee. I know I can have tendencies, and I don’t want to. Because it’s all too clear how Jesus felt about them. And so, I’m ridding my life of refried beans, and ridding my soul of the disgusting stuff there, too. I hope you’ll join me.