From the outset let me tell you that I am not the model for modesty. I try, and struggle, to be modest. In just the past 3 years, my view on modesty have changed drastically. I guess being married does that to you. And so, since being married, I’ve tried extra hard to be modest, because the Bible is clear on the issue:

that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. (1 Tim. 2:9-10).

But yesterday, I had an unfortunate experience as I was getting ready. A part of my heart was exposed that I didn’t realize was there.

You see,  I was doing my normal routine: get out of the shower, get dressed, head to work. Pretty simple stuff, huh?  As I’m looking into my abundantly full closet, I pick out some pants. I decide, ehh, I don’t wanna wear those, so I just grab some jeans. Once I put them on, I studied myself in the mirror as I do daily, making sure modesty is happening. But as I looked, I thought to myself, ‘you should change those pants’.

Now pause. You might be saying, that’s good Emily! Way to look at yourself in the mirror and see that you need to change because you aren’t modest! That would be good. But unfortunately, that’s not what happened.

I looked in the mirror, and these pants (a hand-me-down) were frumpy. They were unflattering in every sense, a bit baggy, and all in all just not very fashionable on my frame. And after one look, I decided I should just take them off. Then I paused and asked myself why. Why do you need to take these pants off?

It was because they weren’t flattering…aka….didn’t make me look shapely, right? They were extra baggy. They were old and out of style. None of those are good reasons not to wear something. Were the pants modest? Yes. Probably more than my other pants, because they weren’t making out my shapes. And in my heart, that was a bad thing.

Shame on me, though. Shame on me for wanting to take off pants because they didn’t show off my figure. Shame on me if I ever buy something because it accentuates a certain feature, or don’t buy something because it doesn’t. Now I know, modesty has a lot of different faces (not too much (outlandish & attention-drawing), too little, too much (expense), too tight, etc.) But for me, the one I rarely focus on is why. Why am I buying this particular item. Because it makes me look good? Because it makes a certain part of me look good? Those are scary, heart-provoking questions for me.

Is it bad to want to feel good in your clothes? No. Is it wrong to be stylish? No! But if I’m buying clothes with the intent of making people think I look good, or I am trendy, then I’m probably not doing it quite right. At least, I as in Emily am not doing it right.

As women, we have an opportunity when it comes to our fashion. And the opportunity is to be detracting, not distracting. Instead of distracting men with how tight or low or provocative or enticing our clothes are, we can detract (or minimize) ourselves. When they (or other women, for that matter) look at us, they see a difference in our choices, and ultimately that we serve God. They see that there’s no big to-do about our clothes–we may wear the same things all the time. They aren’t tight. They aren’t flashy. They aren’t doing tricks on the eyes making you stare longer. Instead, they’re unassuming. Maybe even baggy. Not form-flattering, but God-flattering.

Modesty, as a whole, is talked about allllllll the time, and so let me just say that this is only one random thought bubble of a post. There are so many things that could be said, that have been said, that need to be said. All I’m saying, is that in my life specifically, I need to do some thinking. When I get dressed, what are my intentions. If I stop at “this covers everything and exposes nothing it shouldn’t” then I’m not going as far as I need to, or getting to the meat of what it means to be modest.

So as one who loves alliteration, I am proposing a Modest March. Let’s all reexamine our daily routines–and really ask ourselves why we wear what we wear. If there is a certain piece of clothing you have because it accentuates all the right places, maybe you should throw it out. Or only wear it around your husband. But don’t be afraid to get rid of things. After all, our entire lives (and that means our entire wardrobe) is about glorifying God. If it glorifies self more than it ought, chances are, we oughta part with it.

But then again, I’m probably the only person whose heart is trying to be this ugly. If you struggle too, I’ll pray for you and you can pray for me, too!