I love him too much to wear clothes that are revealing or draw attention to parts of me that aren’t his. Who, you ask?

• I love your husband too much. I love him too much to wear clothes that might make him think of my body instead of yours.
• I love my young brother in Jesus too much to cause him to avoid me at worship because of the thoughts he’s having trouble controlling thanks to the parts of me I’m revealing.
• I love my divorced brother in Jesus too much to wear something that might take his mind off of Jesus while he’s assisting others in memorializing His death.
• I love my brother who has come out of a sinful lifestyle too much to wear things that make him think of activities he has been previously involved in.
• I love my brother in Jesus who is separated from his wife too much to tempt him by arousing thoughts inside of him just by what I’ve chosen not to cover.

You see, there is no *hard and fast rule in Scripture that shows how short is too short, or how tight is too tight, or how much is too revealing. Instead, Scripture gives us principle after principle after principle to follow, not the least of which is how we care for our brethren. And so, as we consider modesty today, let’s look at a few principles and verses that can help us as we strive to be women with modest hearts and modest outfits.

As Christian brothers and sisters, we have a responsibility to look out for one another. Yes, I am responsible for my choices and my actions, but I am also responsible for you. Members of the body of Jesus are members of one another (Romans 12:5). Those members are to serve one another (Gal. 5:13). They bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2) and bear with one another (Eph. 4:2). They don’t lie to one another, because they’re members of one another (Eph. 4:25). There are so many verses in Scripture that tell us that we must behave certain ways and refrain from behaving certain ways because we are brothers and sisters in Jesus, and yet, we often act as though our actions and reactions and words and deeds don’t have any bearing on anyone else.

This becomes especially clear during the warm months of the year. Sisters in Jesus claim that their brothers in Jesus ought to simply get their act together and not lust and not look at women in inappropriate ways. Sisters then go on to wear what they want, because they aren’t in control of their brother’s thoughts. And ok, you aren’t. But you are responsible for loving him and encouraging him and lifting him up. Consider these verses:

We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren (1 John 3:14-16).

Sisters, sometimes we’re not even willing to lay aside an outfit for our brethren, let alone die for them. And yet, this kind of brotherly love is what we are called to as women who wear Christ’s name. If we don’t love them, we hate them. Plain and simple.

Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all (1 Thessalonians 5:14).

It may be fleshly weakness that leads your brother in Christ to lust after you or any woman, but it is still your job to uphold him in his weakness, not shame him for having weaknesses and telling him to deal with it because you can wear what you want. Even Jesus said the spirit would be willing but the flesh weak; our brothers have weak flesh, and we must do our part in upholding them in their faithfulness to Christ despite their weak flesh.

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:1-2).

How are you bearing your brother’s burden if you are your brothers burden? Yes, it is up to him to control his passions and lusts. But it is also up to you to bear his burden — to lift him up in his struggle — not constantly put him face to face with his struggle. We must be gentle in our approach to helping our brothers overcome their lust of the eyes; part of that gentleness is alleviating the temptation when they’re around sisters. They shouldn’t have to be on their tightest, strictest guard when it comes to us. They should feel like we’re taking on some of the burden for them.

Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones (Luke 17:1-2).

Yes, men will struggle to keep themselves pure because Satan is seeking their hearts in hopes to devour them. But woe to us, sisters, if we are the reason they stumble. Jesus says it would be better if we died before we had the opportunity to cause our brothers to sin. Take heed of this stern warning of our Lord!

But when you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble (1 Corinthians 8:12-13)

Wouldn’t the Christ-minded woman say, if this outfit makes my brother stumble, I will never wear it again? Even if there is nothing inherently wrong with the outfit (like there wasn’t anything inherently wrong in eating certain foods), a woman after Jesus’ heart would gladly give up that outfit and choose something else. But that’s a big IF there is nothing wrong with the outfit. But ladies, we know that sometimes there are things wrong with the clothes we choose. We know the difference in immodesty and modesty, if we’re being honest with ourselves. Proverbs 7:10 speaks of the attire of a harlot, and we can picture that, can’t we? Because how someone dresses communicates something about them. Attire has always said something about the hearts of the wearer. And so it does today. If you choose to wear things that make you look like the world, you have the world in your heart. If you choose to wear something that makes you look sexy, you have immorality in your heart. Clothes themselves aren’t sinful; they simply show the areas of our hearts that we need to reassess or clean out.

Sometimes, I honestly believe we as Christian women just don’t take the time to vigilantly fight against Satan that we should. You see, Satan doesn’t want you to see anything wrong with your outfit. Satan doesn’t want you to think you’re immodest. Satan doesn’t want you to care or see a problem with wearing a bikini or skirt that barely covers your underwear region. He wants you to look like the world. He wants you to invite the troubles of the world into your life. He wants you to bring the focus of the world into the heart of your brother in Christ. He wants you to distract in worship. And all he has to do is keep you from even thinking about modesty when you pick your clothes.

Plainly put, if an outfit choice hurts a brother in Jesus, it’s inappropriate. Our lives should be spent pointing people to Jesus in all we say and do and wear, never in detracting from His light by what we choose to put on.

I love Him too much to wear something that could make someone stumble. Who? Jesus. I love Him too much to have people concentrating on my body instead of His broken one, that He let hang on a cross for their sins. May His broken body be the image I am showing to everyone I come in contact with. May His life be seen in me and in all I say, do, and wear.

*Edited to add – Scripture is clear about certain things that are modest versus immodest. From the beginning (Garden of Eden), God clothed people who were simply covered with leaves. God gave commands for priests to cover their thighs lest their nakedness be exposed. There are a plethora of verses that bear out these principles, and you can find more in depth studies on such Scriptures by going through the archives on modesty here at emilyhat.com.